For Couples Who Think They’re Too Awkward – I Got You

I created a guide through my perspective as a photographer to show you how I create authentic photos if you’re feeling awkward or nervous to be in front of the camera. If you’re planning an engagement session or elopement and this thought has crossed your mind…

“I love your photos but I feel awkward in front of a camera?”

I want you to know something right away: You are not the only couple feeling this way.

In fact, almost every single couple I’ve worked with has expressed this to me.

Almost every couple says some version of:

• “We’re really awkward in photos.”
• “We don’t know how to pose.”
• “We get uncomfortable when cameras are on us.”

And every single time I hear that, my response is the same:

That’s completely normal and I totally understand the fear you’re feeling. I’m not here to tell you that you’re not allowed to feel awkward, quite the opposite! I’m here to tell you that feeling awkward is totally normal and let’s embrace it and make space for it during our photo session instead of punishing ourselves for feeling that way.

If you’ve seen my photos and love how my couples are interacting with one another, sharing genuine laughter and creating beautiful memories in the photos – that could be YOU too. Awkward feelings and all.

You’re not supposed to know how to pose.
You’re not expected to perform for the camera.
And you are totally allowed to feel awkward.

My job as a photographer isn’t just to take photos; it’s to create an environment where you feel safe, relaxed, and connected with each other.

So if you’re worried about feeling awkward in photos, I want to walk you through exactly what that experience actually looks like and how to embrace the awkward.

Why Couples Feel Awkward in Photos (And Why That’s Normal)

The Psychology Behind Why We Feel Awkward When a Camera Is Pointed at Us

If you’ve ever felt perfectly normal and relaxed… and then the second a camera appears you suddenly feel stiff, unsure, or self-conscious; there’s actually a very real psychological reason for that.

That reaction isn’t because you’re “bad at photos” or not photogenic.

Your brain is actually responding to something psychologists call being observed. And humans are wired to react strongly to that. Let’s walk through what’s actually happening inside your mind and body when a camera comes out.

Your Brain Switches Into “Self-Awareness Mode”

When you’re just spending time with your partner hiking, laughing, cooking breakfast, talking – your brain is in a relaxed state. You’re focused outward. You’re experiencing the moment.

But the second someone lifts a camera toward you, your brain often flips into something psychologists call the spotlight effect. Instead of experiencing the moment, your mind suddenly turns inward.

Your thoughts might start sounding like this:

• What do I look like right now?
• Am I smiling weird?
• What should my hands be doing?
• Are we doing this right?

Your brain is no longer focused on connection or experience; it’s focused on evaluation.

And that shift alone can make people feel awkward.

The Camera Triggers a Fear of Being Judged

Another powerful psychological trigger is something called evaluation anxiety.

Humans are deeply social creatures, and for thousands of years our brains evolved to care about how others perceive us. Throughout human history, being accepted by a group meant survival.

So when a camera appears, even subconsciously, your brain might interpret it as: “Someone is documenting me. This will be seen and judged.”, “What if I feel awkward the whole time?”, “What if we’re the most awkward couple they’ve ever photographed?”, “We’re so weird and act so awkward.”

Even if the photographer is warm, kind, and supportive, your brain might still whisper:

• What if I look weird?
• What if I blink?
• What if I look awkward?

This isn’t vanity. It’s simply your brain trying to protect you from perceived social judgment.

Social Media Has Amplified the Pressure Around Photos

In today’s world, photos often feel like they carry extra weight. We’re constantly seeing highly curated, perfectly edited images online. So when people imagine being photographed, they often feel pressure to look like the images they see on Instagram or Pinterest.

That pressure can create thoughts like:

• What if we don’t look like that?
• What if we look awkward compared to everyone else?
• What if we don’t photograph well?

But the truth is, those polished images you see online rarely show the real experience behind them. Most couples in those photos started off feeling just as nervous or unsure as anyone else.

When We Feel Observed, Our Bodies Physically Change

This reaction isn’t just mental, it’s physical too. When we feel observed, our bodies sometimes shift into a mild version of the fight-or-flight response.

That can cause small physical changes like:

• shoulders tightening
• posture becoming stiff
• forced smiles
• nervous laughter
• overthinking movements

This is why people sometimes say: “I swear I’m not normally this awkward.”

They’re not. Their nervous system is simply reacting to the situation.

The beautiful thing is that once people feel safe and comfortable again, their body relaxes and those reactions fade.

The Good News: Your Brain Quickly Adapts

The amazing thing about humans is that we adapt quickly.

Once you realize:

• you are not being judged
• there’s no right or wrong way to move
• you can just focus on your partner

your brain begins to shift out of self-awareness mode, your body relaxes, and your laughter becomes natural again. You stop thinking about the camera. And this usually happens within the first 15–20 minutes of a photoshoot.

By the end of a session, most couples tell me something like:

“I’m surprised at how fun that was!”, “We forgot the camera was even there.”

That’s exactly the goal.

A Good Photographer Helps Your Brain Feel Safe Again

One of the biggest parts of a photographer’s job isn’t technical at all. It’s creating psychological safety.

A supportive photographer helps your brain realize:

• you’re not being judged
• you don’t need to perform
• you can just be yourselves

Through gentle guidance, conversation, and movement, couples slowly shift back into the relaxed state they were in before the camera appeared. And once that happens, something wonderful unfolds. Your natural expressions return. Your connection becomes visible. And the photos start to feel effortless.

The First 20 Minutes of Every Photoshoot Is a Warm-Up

Let’s jump back to this and talk about it. The first 15–20 minutes of a session are often the warm-up period. I do not expect you to show up ready to jump in head first. I take time to talk with you both, talk about what we’ll do during the session, get to know you both a little deeper, make space for connection and calm before I even pull the camera out of the bag.

During the first 15 minutes after I get my camera is time where I help you:

• get used to the camera being there
• start to relax into the environment
• laughter begins to feel natural
• the nervous energy fades

Almost every couple eventually says something like: “Wait… this is actually really fun.” Once you start letting the nerves go and lean into your partner’s energy, everything flows.

You Don’t Need to Know How to Pose (That’s My Job)

So maybe now that we feel a little more comfortable making space for awkwardness instead of smothering it, we still have a fear of posing. One of the biggest fears couples have before a photoshoot is:

“We don’t know what to do.”

The good news is: you’re not expected to know.

When you work with a photographer who specializes in couples and elopements, I guide you the entire time so you never have to wonder how to pose. Instead of stiff prom poses, I guide couples using natural prompts and movement.

For example, I might say things like:

• “Walk toward me and bump hips like you’re being playful.”
• “Pull them in like you’re stealing warmth.”
• “Play a game of tag in this field.”
• “Wrap your arms around them and just breathe together.”

These prompts shift your focus away from the camera and toward each other. And that’s where the most genuine photos come from. My goal is to make you almost forget that your photos are being taken. A great way to combat nerves and awkwardness is putting that nervous energy towards movement.

And guess what?!

Your best friend is standing right beside you and you’re in it together! Lean on each other, look at each other, and focus on your connect with each other. I’ll take the photos and guide you through the whole thing, I just need you to focus on the person standing next to you.

My Approach: Making Your Photos Feel Natural and Authentic

One of the most important things I want you to know before we ever take a single photo is this:

You Will Never Be Left Wondering What To Do.

A lot of couples imagine a photoshoot as standing in one place while a photographer says something like, “Okay… now smile.” or “What kind of poses do you want to do?” and put the pressure completely on you. (I hate to say I used to do this to my poor couples 10 years ago). That kind of experience can feel stiff and uncomfortable because you’re suddenly very aware of the camera and unsure of how you’re supposed to look.

That’s not how I photograph couples.

My approach is built around guidance, movement, and connection, so the experience feels much more like spending time together than performing for a camera. From the moment we start, I’ll gently guide you through the entire process so you never feel like you’re guessing what to do next. I’m constantly giving little prompts and suggestions to help you interact with each other in ways that feel natural.

When your attention is on your partner – laughing together, walking together, holding each other – your body naturally relaxes. Your expressions soften. The moments start to feel genuine instead of staged.

Another Key Part of My Approach Is Movement.

Instead of standing still for long periods of time, we’ll be walking, exploring, sitting, leaning into each other, maybe even spinning around or climbing onto a rock for a better view. Movement helps break that feeling of being “on display” and allows your personalities to come through naturally.

Think of it less like a photoshoot and more like an experience the two of you share together while I capture the moments as they unfold.

You don’t need to watch me or constantly wonder if you’re doing something right. I’ll guide you the entire time; adjusting things gently if needed, offering new prompts, and helping you settle into moments that feel authentic to you and also using my creative eye to create photographs that feel epic where you’ll think, “I can’t believe that’s us!”

Your only job is to be present with each other.

You get to laugh, explore, hold hands, and enjoy the moment.

I’ll take care of the rest.

Nerves Can Often be the Anticipation of Something We’ve Never Done Before

I totally understand that even after reading this post, you still feel awkward or uncomfortable at the idea of a camera pointed at you and that’s TOTALLY normal! I expect those nerves to be there and it’s not until we’re all in the moment together where the nerves will finally start to calm. A lot of the time these nerves are simply the anticipation of something you’ve never done before and that can be scary.

I Can Settle Your Nerves – Reach Out For a Conversation

If you need a photographer who understands these nerves and you want a lot of guidance for your session – I’m with you! I would love the chance to do a video call with you ahead of time to get to know you, talk through your vision, hear about your nerves and anxiety about having your photos taken, and give you a safe space to start calming those nerves before we even get to the photo shoot.

If you’re ready to start planning your next shoot or elopement, inquire with me here and let’s get to know each other!